When Your Loved One Resists Care

Caring for a loved one can be a challenge, especially if he or she resists.  However, understanding the reason(s) behind the resistance can help you achieve cooperation.

Your loved on is likely experiencing the feeling of loss — loss of their physical strength, loss of mental faculties, loss of independence.  They may likely be dealing with the lack of privacy and trying to adjust to their new routines.  This may cause them to feel frightened, vulnerable, angry, and/or guilty over the fear of becoming a burden. Some may be a bit stubborn or believe it is a sign of weakness to accept your help. They may also be worried about the financial aspects. Any type of mental health issues or memory loss may also make it difficult for them to understand why they need help.

You may feel reluctant to broach the subject, but communication is essential.  You can prepare for this by honestly assessing what kind of help your loved one will need and what services will be best.  Make certain to choose a time when both you and your loved one are feeling relaxed so you can more easily listen to each other. It’s important to take their feelings into consideration, so ask them what they prefer. Ask family and friends to help persuade them to accept help.  And most of all…don’t give up.  If they resist the conversation, bring it up again later.


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